Lead by Example
If you want a child to do something, it helps to have them witness you doing it as well as the result that came from it. Whenever you’re finished with a project, clean up your mess.
When finished eating, take your plate, utensils, and glass to the sink. Organize your things so that you know where they are when you need them.
Children see this and are more likely to also clean up after themselves. If you’re leaving a mess everywhere then they will have a harder time understanding why cleaning up is important.
Label the Positive
Notice the times that they do something helpful and praise them, telling them they’re a good helper.
When we use character traits like “good helper” or “very helpful”, over time children begin to make that part of their personality. The more you label them as being a helper, the more they will believe it to be true.
Delegate and Praise
Give them tasks throughout the day to practice their helpful skills. The more they practice, the better they’ll learn. And every time they do something helpful, praise them.
Make it Fun
For younger kids, singing the clean-up song is a huge help in picking up toys, but even as they get older it’s fun to add any songs and even a little dance to the process of cleaning up. Counting helps too. Count toys picked up, cutlery put away, and the number of pens and crayons you find.
Fit for all Ages
It’s easier to raise a helpful child earlier in development than later, but it is possible to teach older children to be helpful. All of the same tips apply with a slightly different approach.
As they get older you can explain things more. Explain why you need help, why it’s important for them to take more responsibility, how important it is to work together, and that every person finds their own rhythm when it comes to cleaning, organizing, and helping others, but the end result is the same. Taking care of your things, taking care of shared items, and treating others the way you want to be treated.
Raising a helpful child can be a truly daunting challenge at times. Especially if it seems like one more item to add to the never-ending to-do list. But it doesn’t have to be a frustrating endeavour.
By leading by example, staying positive, and having fun, it is possible to turn the most stubborn mess maker into a happy, helpful partner. One step at a time. One day at a time.
